Dead Nuns Talking

Talented artist, Artemisia Credo, suffers from an extreme case of Nun-O-Phobia, an overwhelming and paralyzing fear of nuns. She still has nightmares about her third-grade teacher, Sister Attila the Nun. Artemisia would rather have a colonoscopy on Main Street than speak in public--thanks to Sister Attila--and she'll do anything to avoid nuns. The trouble is, Artemisia is haunted by a pack of dead nuns.

Artemisia and her feisty octogenarian mother, Mamma Mia--who lives on the skilled nursing-floor at St. Anthony's Hospital--are, as Mamma says, "thick as thieves." You best be on Mamma's good side or she'll whip out her bull-horned hand signal and hex you with Il Malocchio, her Italian curse.

The dead nun-hauntings began when Artemisia accepted the commission to paint the seven founding sisters of St. Anthony's to celebrate the hospital's centennial. Had Artemisia known what those dead nuns had in store for her, she never would have accepted that commission, no matter how much she needed the money. Never.

When St. Anthony's, Mamma Mia's beloved home, is slated to be closed by the corrupt governor of New York State, Artemisia and Mamma Mia join forces with the posse of no-nonsense dead nuns who'd founded St. Anthony's Hospital in 1908. Together this motley crew will stop at nothing to save St. Anthony's.

Take a madcap romp with a former Catholic-school inmate through dead-nun territory.