Dishwasher Safe

The prototype of the world's most miraculous kitchen chopper in history is missing, and Dick Lance, the smarmiest TV pitchman to ever utter, "But wait, there's more!" is the prime suspect. In the highly competitive (and sometimes dangerous) world of Direct Response Advertising, Lance is at the top of his game, but when he disappears into an alligator-filled canal, the search for the missing device takes on life or death importance.

His wife, Kristen, is filled with grief, but not quite certain she wants her offensive hubby found. What Kristen doesn't know is that she is being stalked by a sinister duo of wannabe ninja thugs who are willing to stop at nothing to get the missing miracle product back to Hong Kong.

The twisted trail leads from a TV studio in Ohio to the dank swamps of Florida to the glitz of Palm Beach, and beyond. Alligators, TV hucksters, tourist traps, kidnappers, speech-challenged TV starlets, and erotic art all combine in this comedy/thriller recipe that would challenge the best non-stick cookware.

In the spirit of Carl Hiaasen and Dave Barry, this laugh-out-loud mystery will keep you guessing til the end.