Riding the Elephant: Unraveling the Mystery of My Childhood Trauma

They say what you don't know can't hurt you. But in this raw and powerful memoir, when Phil's seemingly perfect life begins to unravel, he realizes there are secrets locked in his subconscious that, like a huge elephant surfacing beneath him, insist on forging their own path. After his unconventional brother, Holly, dies in a boating accident in San Francisco Bay, Phil is haunted by flashbacks and disturbing dreams, hinting at a buried trauma.

As the memories claw their way to the surface, Phil's world starts to crumble. His once-thriving career in Silicon Valley falters, his marriage disintegrates, and he spirals into substance use. Determined to uncover the truth behind his haunting memories, Phil takes on the role of a detective in his own life, piecing together fragments of the past and confronting the traumatic experiences he had long repressed.

Through all this turmoil, Phil finds hope, and a chance encounter with Kathy opens his heart to the possibility of love and healing. But even as he begins to rebuild his life, a psychedelic recovery weekend challenges him to face the elephant head-on, threatening both his newfound hope and everything he thought he knew about himself.