The Curious Adventures of Christian Carrick-Bentley

FOLLOW our intrepid adventurer from imprisonment in a mystery Central American prison for what crime he has no idea, to tracking down his sexually violent and deranged nemesis, Bessie MacTavish.
FEEL his anguish as he fails in his attempts to return home to his beloved.
TREAT with total disregard his frequently abortive missions around the world as he is tricked into working for the CIA (Cigar Import Advisory).
WONDER at his growing menagerie of genetically altered pets.
And REALISE that you actually want to own a toad that tastes of lemon!