Sometimes I Lie Awake at Night

Zora Neale Hurston once said "If you are silent about your pain, they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it." Reading this quote for the very first time changed my life forever. For a long time I felt as if my life, my experiences and my being did not deserve to take up space. I felt I, nor my feelings mattered and for a long time I lived under the narrative that other people set upon me. I stayed silent, acted obediently and never did too much. I was afraid to be myself. I was afraid to live for me and to use my voice out of fear of being dismissed, ignored and resisted against. Out of fear of being labeled disruptive, difficult, angry, overemotional and all of the other disaffirming labels they put onto any black woman that decides she will no longer suppress her truth and her soul for the sake of keeping the peace and making others feel comfortable. I decided that enough was enough. I vowed that the days of letting other people narrate my story and silence my voice were over forever. I wasn't going to let trauma, fear, systematic oppression, generational curses or anything continue to silently kill me. It was time for me to be the revolution that I and my life needed. I decided that they were going to hear me and that I wasn't going to go quietly. This book chronicles my becoming. It follows my personal development, healing and spiritual journey over the last 5 years of my life. Through poetry, diary entries and spiritual musings I share in intimate detail the transformation of my soul. I share my highs, my lows and my in-betweens. I share the sacred wisdom, divine insights and lessons I have learned along the way that have shaped me into becoming who I needed to be in order share this book today. My intention with this book is to inspire, empower and motivate those who come across and receive it. I want it to serve as be a beacon of hope and a powerful reminder that regardless of what you have been through in life you can heal, rise and overcome. I want this book to serve as an encouraging and activating force for others so that they too will light that fire, embrace their truth and stand in all of their being with power and conviction.