As a Scot

You've been sleeping in your tattoo parlor?
Are you an old-fashioned maritime man?
Do you your grandchildren simply adore?
You must've known that I'm your greatest fan.
It's not your fault if you can't understand
The pressures of being an alderman.
Can a man fight a war without a band?
Do you claim to be the laird of your clan?
I'll be punished, now, for taking a life.
Although at war, that doesn't make it right.
Might I at your grindstone sharpen my knife?
When I saw your ghostly face, I took fright.
You've spent many a moon on the cold sea;
You must beware of the adversary.

332

I can't have you thinking that I'm helpless,
Although at times there's been nowhere to turn.
You'd like to avoid my simple caress:
I've got nothing but energy to burn.
What if I traveled to the colonies
And started up everything from scratch?
My brother warned me that you were a tease;
I have a nefarious plan to hatch.
Does our lord leave the devil in his wake?
Heavenly father means all things to us;
Who knew the astronomer was a rake?
Who knew that God was feeling amorous?
Leave me for Jesus, and I'll understand;
Leave me for Satan, and I'll lend a hand.