Jezebel's Lament: A Defense of Reputation, a Denouncement of the Prophets Elijah and Elisha

Kill the Prophet Elijah, or Be Fed to the Dogs. What Is a Queen to Do?
(Also available in the author's audiobook narration)

Now then, darlings, what do you think of when you hear my name, Jezebel? Whore, royal slut, killer of prophets, seducer of priests?

Well, your Bible writers have certainly done their hatchet job on me, haven't they? For three millennia, their slanders have persisted. Meanwhile, they have fawned on Elijah's reputation, that uncouth and foul-mouthed prophet who condemned me to be dogs' meat. And they have revered his equally loathsome offspring, Elisha.

Do you not see I was a virgin bride brought to Israel and sold for political convenience to a foreign king? That it was I who championed religious tolerance in a time of absolutism? Yes, I had to get rid of some inconvenient men of God along the way, along with a stubborn wine grower, and a pretty love rival, even though I quite fancied her myself, but in all this I did only what a queen must do in such circumstances to protect herself, to safeguard her family and the royal line.

And to prove my story is wholly without bias, I have enlisted a fanboy of Elijah to write it, one A. LeRoy, a man so enamoured of the fire-and-brimstone prophet as to write an epic poem about him, and in it to say some terribly insulting things about me!

But here in this scroll I have channeled to him and, darling boy, he has proved a more than willing instrument, wholly satisfactory in the overflow of his pen. For what man can resist the sensuous assault of fair Jezebel? So here is our co-creation, the outpouring of our labours, the fruit of our loving seed.

Yours,
Jezebel

"I love reading and listening to LeRoy's stories: one, because they are unique, and two, because he is just that good. I love this perspective of Jezebel, as she tries to deal with her 'reputation' that clearly exists to this day. A definite attention grabber, intriguing, and entertaining, while making the reader really care about Jezebel."
Amy's Bookshelf Reviews

"LeRoy is a gifted muse, but give him a story like this one, connected to his love of Elijah... and holy cow what springs forth is amazing! I cannot recommend this highly enough!"
Andrea Stoeckel, Rokinrev Reviews