Motherland: Living with Child Loss and Becoming a Mother Again at 57

"Powerful, honest and gut-wrenching." - Paul Brogan, author

"Simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming." - Dave Cummings, former editor and columnist, The Concord Monitor

"Motherland is an insightful, searingly honest, and incisive exploration of child loss." - Margaret Porter, author

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Is it ever possible to recover from the loss of a child?

Amidst a tumultuous life of divorce, addiction, and destructive relationships, Barb finds herself on the brink of collapse. Little does she know that her world is about to shatter even further with the sudden death of her 13-year-old daughter, Molly.

From the agonizing moment when Molly was rushed to the emergency room with excruciating headaches to the heart-wrenching decision to disconnect her from life support, Barb confronts the reckoning of a lifetime. She grapples with the haunting question of responsibility: Could she have altered the course of events during those sixteen crucial hours?

In the days, months, and years that follow, Barb navigates the treacherous territory she dubs Motherland-a realm characterized by heartbreak and beauty, hope and devastation, self-doubt and grief, blame and loss. With determination, she takes countless small steps toward healing and rediscovering hope.

At the age of 57, Barb makes a brave and radical decision: she has another baby. This transformative experience reshapes her understanding of Motherland, redefining the meaning of motherhood late in life and illuminating the significance of this new life against the backdrop of Molly's untimely death.

Soul-searching, heart-wrenching, and unflinchingly honest, Motherland is both an achingly intimate memoir of a remarkable woman's experience of child loss and motherhood and a powerful call to reevaluate society's treatment and support of women, regardless of age.