I Scream! We All Scream!: A Small Town's Post-Pandemic Orgasmic Tale - 9798991009737

Clanford, Illinois, is a tiny Midwest enclave with the second-highest net worth zip code in the country. Emma Mayfield is a thirty-something mom trying to keep her family and sanity together after a string of financial faux pas ahead of the unexpected COVID lockdown. When the town mayor announces the grand re-opening of Clanford, the high society set is in panic mode over their unexpected lockdown weight gain ahead of the exclusive Butternut Country Club's grandest social event of the season.

Enter the story's protagonist, Emma, along with her husband Craig and a totally unexpected co-conspirator, who introduces a quick weight loss scheme. The power-packed prescript's immediate and massive results turn the high society crowd into genteel versions of crackheads, willing to do just about anything for their next "fix."

All hell breaks loose when the unexpected physical side effects of P.D.P. (Public Displays of Pleasure) rocks the sensibilities of this conservative burg. Emma and the team scramble to take control of the situation to keep their clients safe, and their money train on track. The rapid-paced, hilarious unfolding of events may subject the reader to U.P.D.L. (Uncontrollable Public Displays of Laughter).

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED (BUT CLEARLY NOT RECOMMENDED)